Ten Theses to my Sisters on National Boyfriend Day

It’s #NationalBoyFriendDay (October 3rd, 2019), so here’s my annual admonition to Christian single gals as a loving big brother:

1. The Bible has no category for boyfriend (or girlfriend). You either have a husband or a brother-in-Christ.

2. That means he doesn’t get any sort of special access to you that any of your other brothers would/should get.

3. That means he doesn’t get a say in where you go or what you do. He has no claim on you. You owe him nothing, but a sisterly love that you would extend to anyone.

4. He has zero, I repeat, zero authority over you.

5. He is not required, nor should you invite him to “lead” you. That is something your dad and pastors are called to do.

6. If he “believes in God,” that doesn’t make him a Christian. The demons believe in God (James 2:9). If he says he believes in God all you know is that either he’s human or a demon…you don’t know if he’s a Christian.

7. Don’t waste your time unless he: is a member of a church, submits to authority, works hard, and loves his mom (but not too much/weirdly).

8. When in doubt, breakup.

9. In 10 years of pastoral ministry, I’ve never met the girl (or guy) who said: “I really wish I would have dated more and been more sexually active. I really regret it.” But I have heard countless times the stories of regret, guilt, shame, and brokenness over the opposite.

10. Jesus is the only man who will love you perfectly, won’t let you down, doesn’t have selfish motives, and who is all-satisfying.